Through Your Eyes
by The Akatsuki Wolf
Summary: She was the remnants of a lively girl, torn down by what she had dared to call her friends and allies. When she has no one to turn to, an unlikely person halts her attempt at heaven, forcing her back to earth and her heart to beat in love, not sorrow. The Akatsuki take in Sakura, and prove to Konoha that h*ll hath no fury like a woman scorned.
1. Falling Down

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 2011 I BELIEVE**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

**ANIME: Naruto**

**PAIRING: Hentai: DeidaraXSakura**

**STATUS: Multichapter: Completed **

**RELATED STORIES: None**

**WARNINGS: Graphic sex between male and female, abuse, near rape, dark and sensitive themes, self-harm, mentions of homosexual relationships.**

**Italics= Flashbacks **

_~They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself~_

* * *

_The pink haired woman had been a shattered, pathetic excuse of garbage. Before they rescued her and made her over into a human again._

_No, healed her._

_Now they were her family._

* * *

She stood, her glistening tears falling like a waterfall of depression across her porcelain face, her pink hair whipping around her in the chill of winter. The welcoming winds caressing her hair gently, whispering.

_Jump._

_Jump_.

She glanced behind her, a spark of foolishness making her, just hope, that someone cared enough to stop her. Ha, what a joke. If they did, it was because she was their favorite toy; if she died they wouldn't have someone to take their problems out on anymore. She took a deep breath, sobbing on the air as she realized what her life had come to, and let herself gently sway in the wind.

"Sakura, don't!"

She started, and realized someone was trying to stop her from ending her pain. Why couldn't she be left alone? She ignored whoever had tried to stop her, knowing it was another monster from her village. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh air of the clean forest.

And fell.

She let her body fall off the cliff, gravity pulling her fast to her demise. She smiled at the peaceful serenity, pink hair flowing in the wind; her last moments spent appreciating the beauty of nature.

Suddenly she heard what sounded like the flapping of giant wings, and something warm enveloped her, her fall halted abruptly. She opened her tear swimming orbs to see azure blue eyes and long blond hair. Her heart pulsed at remembering Naruto. She'd thought he'd been so kind, her only friend. What a lie. He was as deceiving as the rest of them. It was her fault, in believing anyone actually cared about her worthlessness.

She instantly realized the man to be Iwa Deidara, the partner of Akasuna no Sasori, of Akatsuki, one of the artistic duo she and her "_team_" had fought a year before. Why was he helping her, more than that, pretending to care? He had no use for her, even less than the people of Konoha. He soared up on the clay bird he'd caught her on, holding her tightly in case she decided to throw herself off the bird, which she desperately wanted to do. Though, as she watched the beautiful earth from the sky, she grew far from the thoughts of death.

A loud, harsh cry carried on the wind toward them. "Get back here you ugly pink whore, I didn't fucking finish with you!" Sasuke screamed angrily, she almost sobbed out of fear of the Uchiha, he and his blonde slut were the reason she had made the decision to stand on that cliff… Because of what had happened earlier.

"Hey! Blondie! You'll get a turn to play with her later!"

Yamanaka Ino. Her once best friend had betrayed her for the luxury of popularity.

She pressed up against her rescuer almost unwillingly, shaking at the fear of him actually giving her to Sasuke and his personal whore Ino, after she, barley two hours ago, escaped them.

* * *

_Sasuke's violent hands roamed over her body, painfully jamming his fingers inside her and pulling her hair, taunting her with scalding words as she begged him to stop. He bit harshly into her neck as she fought him. Ino laughed the entire time, hitting her when she became too much for Sasuke to handle. She had escaped when her terror gave her the strength to violently attack both captors and run. Just run as fast as she could._

* * *

She shuddered in disgust.

Sakura looked up, waiting for him to throw her into Sasuke's clutches once more, only to be shocked by what she saw. She almost had a heart attack, and was probably going to if she didn't remember how to breathe.

He looked so, _angry_. He glared at them with intense fury, holding her in a protective embrace, growling at the two teenagers below them.

Deidara jumped from the bird, leaving her curled up on it to watch the show, her suicidal thoughts currently gone. He landed in front of the two ninja, surprising them at first. He smirked maliciously, and tossed something at Ino. She caught it, like the foolish girl she was, making a weird face at the white clay butterfly. She opened her mouth to ask him what the hell it was supposed to be, when it blew up.

Her pain wrenching scream made Sakura smile a little sadistically, she was getting a taste of her own medicine. Deidara turned to Sasuke, tilted his head, and smiled at the irate Uchiha. He jumped backward, with a mutter of a word, and the ground surrounding them exploded, Sasuke screamed bloody murder, with pain etched into his voice as he was thrown backward. Deidara landed back onto the bird, settling back down. Sasuke's voice carried to her.

"You'll be _begging_ for me one day Haruno. I could've made you a woman, like no one else will! You aren't worthy of anyone you pink whore!"

She felt the sting of a thousand tears she had pent up for far too long, and let them fall. Deidara shook with anger at the people who had broken this girl, and pulled her into his lap. Her breath hitched, wondering in fear what pain he would cause her. But he just held her close, running gentle fingers through her shoulder length pink hair. It seemed to sooth him at the same time it began to calm her. She felt herself get sleepy, her Insomnia wearing off for a little while, and his soothing words lulled her into her first peaceful slumber in years, as they drifted in the wind.

When she awoke Deidara was carrying her against his chest bridal style, he appeared to be talking to someone, but he seemed irritated. Suddenly a seductive voice appeared close to her, "Hey sleeping beauty, have fun with Blondie?" She was pulled away from the voice, Deidara growled to whoever it was.

"Leave her alone Hidan, she's the new addition, un. Not your toy." He walked away, leaving the man, apparently Hidan, standing. He walked to some large double doors, and set her on her feet, which she amazingly managed to stay on. He opened the door for her, smiling reassuringly to her though it didn't help. Why was she in the Akatsuki base, what did they want to do to her? There wasn't much left to be done... She stepped in the dark room. An alluring voice called. "Is this her, Deidara?"

Deidara nodded once. "Yes Leader-sama, un. Haruno Sakura, top medical Nin in the known world with supreme intelligence in Gen-Jutsu and strength surpassing the legendary Tsunade, un."

If she was so strong, why was she so broken?

* * *

**AUTHORESS NOTE**

**Hey. This changed dramatically; it was going to be a one shot sex scene with Sakura and Deidara! But now it's going to be a long multi chapter thing.**


	2. Catching Her

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 2011 I THINK**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

**Bold- Sakura's thoughts**

* * *

Sakura walked timorously down the hall toward the direction Deidara had told her she was supposed to get her cloak from. She had been told Leader-Sama had sent Deidara to find her, Akatsuki had wanted her as a member for some time now, he apparently found her a valuable ally. She didn't understand why, she couldn't do much. She especially couldn't compete with S-rank criminals!

She shook slightly as she reached the room, Deidara told her about Sasori, about how he had a jutsu ready to revive him should someone destroy his puppet body and heart container. The entire ordeal was confusing, but in a twisted way made sense. She couldn't believe he had survived. Much less that _she_ would survive an encounter with him; certainly he would want revenge against the girl who'd killed him. She knocked on the door; a voice she knew all too well answered her coldly.

"What?"

She entered the room timidly. He glared up at her irritably, as she stood nervously in his doorway.

"Don't stare at me like that girl, come here."

He ordered her. She stepped up to him quickly, not wanting to anger the redhead. As chakra strings came from his fingers, he measured and fixed her cloak around her body. She didn't notice while she was busy fretfully eying her surroundings, but he watched her closely. His gaze softened as she nervously looked around, jumping at every sound, she'd been broken by that wretched village. He never had truly been angry with the child, he held respect for her, and she deserved it. He may have even been grateful; she had given him back a human body, which though had flaws, had rewards all the same. This girl was _nothing_ like the one he had fought, she had lost her fire. This Sakura feared him; she thought he wanted to hurt her. She thought everyone wanted to hurt her. He noticed her eyes flitting back and forth fearfully. When he was done fitting her cloak, he dismissed her. He noticed her flinch as he raised his arm to wave her off, had they allowed them to _hit_ this girl? His eyes hardened in disgust.

* * *

As Sakura walked timidly into the living room someone wrapped an arm around her waist, her breath hitched in terror, and she looked up, she saw the violet eyes of the man from earlier. She recognized him as Hidan, one of the zombie twins of the Akatsuki. And she'd been taught he was the most ruthless of the Akatsuki. He looked down into her jade eyes, his violet eyes softening for the girl before him. She looked away, terrified of him, of everyone. What had they done to her? To make her this way?

"Hey, whatever you were taught about us, they were wrong. We aren't going to hurt you."

He reassured, arm tightening around her waist. She nodded slowly, but he knew it would take time for her to be comfortable around them. He had seen her in battle before, and this wasn't that same fierce teenager. He pulled her closer in a half armed hug before heading off in a different direction. She stood, dumbfounded at the sudden, random act of kindness. She'd been here less than an hour and she'd been shown more kindness than in her seventeen years of being in Konoha.

She continued on her way, opening her door as she walked into the room they had given her. She gasped as she saw it; sakura trees with swirling petals dancing in the wind decorated the walls. A black, luxurious bed with a red canopy sat in the corner. A nice sized bathroom, stocked with things she would need was to the left. A large dresser already filled with clothes stood to the right wall, along with a desk and chair. She fell to her knees as she shut the door.

She didn't deserve this. Didn't they know that? She didn't deserve anything but pain. She stood slowly and walked to sit on the bed. She hadn't slept on a bed in a long time, and it looked so inviting.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Her parents had disowned her at age fifteen because she hadn't lived up to her ninja potential. Her entire life they had abused her, mentally, physically and emotionally. Her father was a drunk, useless man, she didn't seem to be able to escape him, even in the streets she had learned to survive on. He had beaten her mother ruthlessly when she finally decided to act like her mother and try to stop him from hurting her._

_Her mother died that night, and it was her fault._

* * *

A voice knocked her from her memories.

Konan walked to Sakura and sat next to her on the bed, gently laying a hand on Sakura's shoulder. She resisted the urge to growl in anger for the leaf village, as she felt the girl flinch beneath her touch. Konan gave her a sweet smile,

"Hey, don't be afraid. We won't hurt you, none of us. You're part of our family now. Our dysfunctional, strange, wonderful circus of a family."

Konan said to her in a kind voice, Sakura twitched her mouth. She took Sakura's hand and pulled her up with her.

"Do you want to help me cook lunch? It's been forever since I last spent time with a girl."

Konan laughed. Sakura gave a weak, but genuine smile, nodding her agreement. But horrible voices inside her taunted her with cruelty. As Konan lead her to the kitchen, she focused on the stinging, venom coated words.

**Stupid. Worthless. Ugly. Fat. You know you don't deserve this, why do you take advantage of this, you should have just let yourself be hurt.**

Sakura shook her head, watching as Konan set the table, and then called the boys in to eat. Konan held Sakura's arm, so she wasn't killed in the stampede. She watched as they all sat around the table, enjoying the meal, the cruel voice taunted her.

**You're fat. People don't like such fat, ugly people. You always ask 'Oh, why don't I have friends?' Now you know. Fatass.**

She turned quickly, walking away. Kisame called to her.

"Hey! Pinky! Don't you wanna eat?"

She shuddered, before turning and mustering a sad smile.

"I-I'm not hungry."

She walked away quickly, shutting her door and falling to her knees with her back against the wall. She started when her door opened and clicked silently shut. She flicked her fearful gaze to stare at Deidara. He had a plate in his hand, and was staring hard at her. He sat in front of her and pushed the plate onto her lap. She looked up at him, his eyes were determined, he was going to get her to eat. She opened her mouth to say something, shutting it when his eyes hardened, as if he knew already she was going to argue. He placed the forkful of rice to her lips; she opened her mouth and accepted it. He continued this until she took the fork for herself. He made sure she ate it all, before standing and taking the plate. She stared down, before whispering

"Thank you."

He smiled gently, before kissing the top of her head and leaving. She sat in silent shock, wondering why he had done that. She knew she didn't deserve the comforts of the bed, she had already tried to earlier but it looked too pretty for her to dirty, so she slept on the floor, she was used to that. Even this was better than outside, where people taunted you. She sighed, shivering until she fell into her night-terrors…

* * *

Itachi awoke suddenly, hearing a strange sound. He saw Kisame hadn't awoken, but he didn't expect him to. It was barely audible; however he was extremely in-tune to the surroundings. He silently got up, opening his door and walking to the room next to his. He pushed the door open, and his eyes softened at what greeted his eyes.

Sakura was trembling on the floor, shivering from cold and fear. He silently padded over the floor to her, and gently lifting her into his arms. She didn't awake, but gripped him tightly. He lay on the bed, positioning so he could lay Sakura by his side. He stroked her hair softly, her whimpers slowly dying. He tucked the blanket around her, quietly shutting the door as he left.

**AUTHORESS NOTE**

**Amaya: See, Hidan isn't always a total asshole.**

**Hidan: Fuck you!**

**Me: Not tonight!**

**I'm not going to make excuses for this being late, I'm not really sorry either. I don't think anyone cares so much about the story anyway. I did have a lot going on, so I promise I will NEVER quit the story, but updates will be spacey. Until my Hell is over, new chapters are going to be rare. I have more important things to worry over. I do hope you appreciate this chapter because I like the plans I have going for the story, but my story is changed slightly.**

**Tobi is Madara and will be revealed later, and I know I said Konan and Pein is a couple in the first chapter, but Pain/Ko seems so old, I'm changing it. When Sasori falls in love with Konan, partners are changed and Pain and Madara Are partners, and Sasori and Konan are partners. And you can guess who Deidara's new partner is?**

**Yep. ;)**


	3. Healing Her

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 11/2/11**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

_**Inner Sakura**_

Talking

_thinking_

**Demons of her past.**

* * *

Sakura groaned as she raised an arm to block out the sun, the blanket falling of her in the process. She gasped as she looked around her, realizing she wasn't in the corner she'd fallen asleep in.

Had she sleep-walked? She sometimes did that when she was very sad or angry.

She tossed the silky covers back and stood, stretching her body comfortably. She made her bed, taking a moment to appreciate everything. She began smiling, something she hadn't done in so long, since she'd been in Akatsuki, it seemed easier.

She rummaged through the dresser, picking out a comfortable red tank top that almost fell to her thighs and pink shorts falling to an inch above her knee. She took her headband off, glaring at it for a moment. She looked at the drawer of her bed, her inner self pointing it out first. She slid the lid open, eyes widening at the majority of weapons. She selected a kunai, flipping it over her fingers. She looked down to stare at the headband.

"_**Let's end ties with that hell of a village, if they can even call themselves that."**_

Her inner self smirked. Sakura gripped the knife, raising it high,

_"Slash!"_

A sharp sound rang out as she slashed a line through the Leaf symbol. She sneered at it, tying it atop her head. She felt great showing she now fought against the village that had harmed her so. She replaced the weapon, standing to walk to her door and into the hall way.

She smiled shyly at the tall shark man that was passing by; she didn't notice him smirk as he noticed her slashed headband. She made her way through the corridor with Kisame following, she was going to skip breakfast, as always, when a sudden thought occurred to her.

There was no cruel voice telling her not to eat. And if she wanted a new life, why not start with her food problems.

She sat down with an apple in her hand, munching quietly as Hidan trudged into the kitchen. He eyed her a minute before mumbling,

"Pinky, what the fuck are you doing with that rabbit food?"

She blushed, unsure of what to say at first. She wasn't used to being talked to, unless it was insults, which required no answer. Lucky for her Konan walked in at the same moment.

"She'll eat what she damn well pleases, Hidan."

The albino huffed before sitting next to her; Konan readied some eggs, preparing enough for her, Hidan, and Deidara who was lucky enough to walk in. Apparently whoever walked in while Konan cooked, ate whatever she was gracious enough to give them. Sakura declined the offer, she wasn't very hungry. She ate her simple apple thoughtfully as Hidan and Deidara bickered playfully on either side of her.

When her apple was finally consumed she stood and tossed the core to the trash. Hidan and Deidara flicked bits of egg at each other when she was out of the way. Sakura smirked as Konan threatened their balls if they didn't stop.

This "Family" was weird as hell. But they were the nicest she'd ever met. She decided it was a good idea to explore, to get the feel of her surroundings. She stepped into the cool autumn air, breathing deep as she easily made her way around leaves and roots. Nature was beautiful, peaceful. She loved it, even envied it.

When she was hurt she would wish to be an animal, so she could be free from the cruelty of humans. Fly or run from them.

She stiffened as leaves rustled behind her, on instinct she angled her hand for easy reach to a kunai strapped to her thigh, her other arm raised to defend herself. When the mystery attacker landed with a soft thud right behind her, the kunai was rushing to make impact with the target in less than three seconds. Lucky for said attacker, he had excellent reflexes.

Itachi caught her wrist that held the kunai, and Sakura stopped the fist ready to collide with his chest. Her eyes widened and she pulled her hands back when he released her. Quickly replacing her kunai she bowed slightly.

"I'm sorry Itachi-san, you startled me."

He remained impassive to her.

"You have decent reflexes. May I join you?"

She nodded once; suspicious he was lying to make her feel good. The two Shinobi walked in a comfortable silence through the gorgeous forest area. Sakura had been following Itachi after a while, memorizing the area cautiously. After a few hours she saw the base coming into view. She felt very relaxed, serene in the nature.

They silently walked inside, Sakura meeting the stares of the other members as they turned questioningly to them.

"Where'd you two go?"

Kisame asked curiously. More to Sakura since he was used to the

"Hn."

Answer from his own partner. Sakura blinked once before replying, a little more comfortable with talking though her voice was small and rather cautious, if you were to hear it. As though she knew she weren't allowed to speak and was trying not to get caught.

"We went for a walk."

They all nodded at the answer but Hidan, being Hidan, of course didn't think it was good enough.

"Where to?"

His partner sighed,

"Must you be so nosy?"

Hidan glared at the older man, and as the two began arguing, a wide eyed Sakura walked away from the questions. Questions ended up in pain and judgement. She walked back to where she hoped was her room, and silently cheered as she opened the door to her absolutely beautiful room, she breathed softly.

"_I appreciate this so much, but why are you doing this for me?"_

She thought silently to herself.

**Shut up and be happy with what you have you bitch. You are so ungrateful.**

She winced at the cruel voice, she once thought it to be Inner Sakura, but she had a sarcastic, husky voice that was female. This voice never sounded at all, only words.

She walked calmly to her bathroom, her eyes glowing mesmerizingly as she admired everything inside, it was a girls dream. Some of these things Ino didn't even have.

She shivered at the thought of the sadistic girl as she undressed and serenely stepped into her shower, allowing the warm water to caress her body, like gentle hands. She spent a long time in the shower, cleansing her hair and body softly and daydreaming about everything and anything. Water seemed to soothe her mind.

After a time she got out, for if she didn't she'd probably drown. She wrapped herself in a fluffy towel, rubbing water from her skin and hair. She stepped in front of the mirror and glared at the girl inside it. She turned her face left and right, shook her hair, smiled and frowned. She dropped her towel to the ground.

She grimaced at her body. Her scrawny, scarred, and flat-chested body. The one that looked so harmless yet could shatter the earth. The one that could move as quickly as the lightning bolts. The one she felt was so hideously imperfect it didn't deserve to be on earth. She glared, willing the body she stared at to burst into flames.

She gave a silent cry when it didn't work, and slowly dressed herself in underwear and a nightgown that reached her lower thighs and was a sky blue. Her eyes softened as she walked to her bed, she decided she needed to be grateful and accept her home.

She fell asleep, but her nightmares refuse to leave her alone.

**AUTHORESS NOTE**

**Darlings I apologize for the fact that I've seen many of you favorite-ing this and story alerting it, and I've been ignoring it. I have other things, but I wouldn't dare leave ya'll behind! So, here is a long awaited third chapter. I am sorry if it isn't very good, I'm not pleased with it but there isn't much to do with it until chapter five, and even then I need to plan out the story more 0.0 Oh! Point some things out!**

**Inner Sakura is NOT the voice that was saying cruel things to Sakura. That is a personal voice, when you are bullied for a long time you begin to believe the things said to you. Some girls even repeat these things to themselves. This is what was happening in the second chapter.**

**When Hidan said "rabbit food" to Sakura, it was a reference from my dad. He always says veggies and fruits are rabbit food XD **


	4. Insanity

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/4/12**

_**Inner Sakura**_

**Cruel Thoughts**

**WARNING: This is dark, and a look into the mind of a cutter. Please don't read if you are easily disturbed by emotionally and ideologically sensitive topics.**

* * *

Sakura awoke with a start, clutching at her thighs. She looked for blood that wasn't there, waited for the sting that wouldn't begin.

She had relived that day with Sasuke and Ino.

The ordeal from two days ago seemed to have been an acid that leaked deep into her soul, permanently burning into her memory. It haunted her like an unwanted ghost. She clutched her head, rocking back and forth as strange, unclear sounds fumbled from her mouth. She wasn't certain she was truly awake, all she knew was the fresh memory of what he had (nearly) done to her.

**You're being bratty. People are raped every day and you're trying to make a big deal over a few touches that you **_**liked**_** you whore. Get over yourself.**

She released a broken sob rom the tight confinements of her chest, her small body heaved. She wanted to scream, tell it to shut up.

_**Sakura honey, go back to sleep.**_

The tired voice of Inner Sakura rasped. She didn't want to see Sakura delve into a moment of lost sanity, which happened. Very rarely, but it still happened. Moments where your demons caught up with you, when you ran for too long, where it all started to tear you to shreds and you had to do something to be bought back to reality.

Sakura shoved away the regret and warnings she received when she rose form her bed and moved to the drawer at the end of her bed, her nightgown swishing around her ugly, skinny legs. She opened it quietly, reaching into the depths and bringing out the object that would relieve her of her insanity.

The kunai glistened in the light, reflecting its humor at her need for it to cut open her flesh. She sat, folding her legs to the side. She eyed the weapon disdainfully, adrenaline coursed through her, needing to be released. She lifted it, an arm with no tremble, eyes with nothing but a crazed look.

Her hand had done this before.

She breathed sharply through her nose as the knife touched her skin, it was cold. As cold as her heart felt, a cold heavy stone in her chest. She didn't press hard; she slid it over her pale skin. Too pale for anyone to like.

She felt a light sting; something she knew would burn horribly later on. She watched in anticipation as blood bloomed like a flared rose to the surface of the wound. The blood carried her pain, adrenaline, and crazy out of her body. She sighed in relief as she immediately felt better, safer.

She brought the knife to her wrist once more, above the first still bleeding cut; she slid it slowly across her skin. Breathing softly as each and every cut threw a rope over her and jerked her back to reality. Pain was real, pain was part of life, pain slammed you back to reality, far from the nightmares and lies. Pain, left no room for anything else.

Her arms were littered with cuts, like a night sky would be with stars. Red lines that had stopped blooming, the blood dried and marked her like a warning to the world to stay away from her because she was unsafe.

She wiped the bloodied kunai with a bit of toilet paper and replaced it. As she moved, her skin stretched and she felt the wicked burns of her cuts. She regretted it afterwards because the burn lasted until she slept it off, even then her skin would be tender. She then realized, in her state of mind, she hadn't though this through at all.

How was she going to hide her arms? She thought of healing them, but every time she did something in her snapped, and she caused scars that refused to disappear, every time that happened she panicked and had to visit Tsunade, begging her to heal her arms. Tsunade looked to her in a disgusting mix of pity and repulsion ever since.

She rummaged through her closet until she found a light jacket, something bearable, and would cover her. It was still somewhat cool this autumn; she could get away with it.

_**From now on be careful Sakura! Better yet, don't do it at all! If someone looked very closely they would see the marks of past scars! The white lines on your arms are noticeable, whether you care to acknowledge it or not!**_

She sighed at her Inner Self's rant. She was right, however. Sakura glared down, swallowing hard. She felt relieved to be free of her insane thoughts and feelings, momentarily. She sulked slowly to her bed, a strangled whimper leaked from her mouth as she pulled a sheet over her shredded arms. She would release her pain in the sanctity of this room, tomorrow she would turn into an amazing actress and pretend everything was fine, the same as every other day and waking moment of her pathetic life. Like nothing was wrong.

Even when everything was.

**AUTHORESS NOTE**

**Fuck fanfiction. As I'm writing this, right now, it won't let me on document loader! It says "sorry you have to be logged in" And gives me the login link. I've logged in many, many times because I'm determined. But it lets me on everything else! I'm so pissed! I guess I'll wait until tomorrow though I fucking hate waiting -.- (Remind you of someone, hm?) Anyway, I'm supposed to be school-working. But, I revised my chapters of this, and decided to write the 4****th**** chapter. **

**Also, I wasn't planning on this being as dark as it was, but I got really into character. And I want people to understand that this isn't some fairytale, fictional thing. Cutting is all too real, trust me.**

**So, next chapter there will be minor DeiSaku. But we all agree we needed a chapter just for Sakura, where things needed to be revealed, and to get the story rolling. **

**Hey! I was thinking! (SHOCK! I'M BLOND! I DON'T THINK!) And I realized I randomly named this story…I have no idea why I titled it this, it has no reference to it, I think I should change it but I'm afraid no one will find it if I do, and trust me when I say I've seen a LOT of people favoriting this..**


	5. Stopping Her

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/25/12**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

* * *

"Ungh, fuck you."

Sakura mumbled at the sun as it cheerfully shone through her blinds. She rose up and moved to stretch, only to hiss quietly. She remembered her cuts and everything about the hellish night before. She stared at her blood lined arms for a moment before sighing wearily and walking in a zombified state to the bathroom.

She stared at her mirror, at the ugly stranger whose dull, boring green eyes eyed her back. She glared at her ugly little body. She wasn't tall like the sexy women, or short like the cute women. She wasn't as skinny as the beautiful women. She had small breasts, unlike the other women. Her shoulder length hair was pink, not blond like most men preferred. She had pale skin. Her forehead was still wide and her nose looked big.

She wasn't beautiful.

She made a disgusted sound and turned away to reach into one of her drawers, taking out a jar of ointment that would help with the burn. She applied it thinly to her self-inflicted wounds. She spared the ugly image in the mirror one more look before walking away from it and into her room. She roamed through her drawers before tossing on a black wife beater and baggy black sweat pants. She threw on the jacket she had found, so no one would ever know.

She hated questions. No one cared and both the asker and the victim knew it. They were curious. They wanted to bother the victim. She braided her medium length hair before she walked into the hallway, nearly colliding with Kakuzu. She made a squeaking sound and bowed lightly.

"I'm sorry Kakuzu-san."

He nodded at her once before he continued on his way, her following a moment after. She sighed deeply as she took a seat next to Hidan, who was laying his head on the table, half asleep. Konan was preparing what looked like rice and miso soup and smiled kindly at Sakura. Sakura shyly smiled back as she placed the food in front of both her and Hidan; Kakuzu had apparently just left without eating. Konan placed a third bowl next to Sakura, who wondered a second who it was for before being startled as Deidara appeared from behind her and sat next to her.

His hair was down and he too looked half asleep, Hidan hadn't even moved. Konan flicked his head but all it did was earn a curse. Sakura giggled at Konan's expression, which suggested she was thinking of dumping the soup over the zealot's head. She slowly ate her own food, chewing thoughtfully as she itched her arm, wincing at the sting she caused.

What she didn't notice was Deidara looking at her.

* * *

Sakura's braid blew in the wind as she relaxed in a very tall tree. She had been training and her target had been five trees. When she walked up this one to retrieve her kunai she stopped to admire the view and now she didn't want to go back down. She sighed in contentment, relaxing her muscles, all tense from working hard. She improved each time she trained and lately her main focus was tai-jutsu.

"Oi! Pinky! Pein in the ass wants to see you!"

She blinked down at the Jashinist as he yelled at her, standing and making to walk down the tree before he stopped her.

"Just jump I don't wanna wait on you."

She stopped and her distrust floated to the surface. He sighed.

"Like hell I'm going to let you fall and have Pein, Konan and Deidara take turns shredding me. Now jump or I'll knock you out of the fucking tree."

She bit her lip, not wanting to relive the moment she had stepped off of that cliff. She inhaled sharply as she finally stepped off her branch, when Hidan moved to punch the tree. She felt the wind float around her and despite the fear of crashing onto the forest floor, she felt peaceful.

She gasped when Hidan caught her bridal style, abruptly stopping the fall. He set her on her feet and looked at her with an "I told you so!" look. Both Akatsuki members wandered back to the base, Sakura leaving to Pein's office and Hidan mumbling something and taking off to find Kakuzu. Sakura timidly opened the door, Deidara, Sasori and Konan turned to stare at her as Pein was looking at his desk.

"Hello Sakura. Due to some… Interesting happenings this morning there have been changes made to partnerships. Sasori and Konan are partners and I've partnered you with Deidara. I'm sending you on a minor mission to scope out a village in Kirigakure to see how well you work together. Dismissed."

Pein spoke in an authoritative yet tired tone. She blinked owlishly before following Deidara outside. She watched in admiration as he molded a clay bird, infusing chakra to enlarge it. She stared with a slightly open mouth at the finished creation. He snickered as he jumped up and held a hand out to her.

"Like my art, hm?"

She nodded at him, still staring at the bird. She never had artistic skill, and neither did anyone in the leaf village. She sat down beside the blonde as the bird took off. He rubbed against her arm and she gasped softly as she moved away, trying to end the burnimg feeling that flowed up her arm. She ignored the scrutinizing look she received from the man next to her.

* * *

**IN KIRIGAKURE**

Both teenagers eyed the surrounding area carefully, mapping out certain points and noting any important detail. They thought they would get away without any problem until a large sword shot past Deidara's face. He cursed once as he glared down at three ninja below them. He sent three butterflies to them and held his hand up in a sign.

"Katsu!"

Two of the men were knocked so violently into the surrounding trees they fell down unconscious. The third had dodged. Sakura jumped to the ground. Deidara narrowed his blue eyes. The pink haired ninja dodged to the side when the ninja threw a punch at her, then grabbed hold of his arm and yanked him toward her, kneeing him in the stomach and slamming him into the ground. She looked up when Deidara cursed loudly, eyes widening when she saw a pack of ninja running straight to them.

She raised her fist, and with the strength of the gods pounded it to the earth. She back flipped back onto the bird as Deidara rose higher into the air and soared away from the village. He stared in surprise at the completely destroyed earth, looking as if an atomic bomb had fallen, the ninja scattered from the force. He looked at her wearily.

"Remind me to never piss you off, yeah."

She smiled softly at him.

An hour or so later they came upon a hotel that they chose to stay the night at, since nightfall was approaching. Sakura eyed the blonde as he snickered when the bird blew up, walking quickly past her and dragging her along so no one became suspicious. He paid for a room, giving the money to the clerk; a young woman who blushed furiously whenever he spoke. Sakura smiled softly. She had her fair share of crushes.

Deidara nearly broke the door getting inside the room, the flimsy wood obviously ancient. She eyed the room appreciatively. Both beds looked comfy and the room was clean, though it seemed to be from the stone ages. Shelter was shelter. She noticed her jacket had ridden up a little, two red lines showing on her pale skin. She jerked it back down and went to sit on her chosen bed, humming in reply to Deidara when he said he was going to find dinner for them.

When he returned nearly half an hour later with ramen she found herself much hungrier than she had originally thought. They made small talk while they ate, nothing too deep but enough to make each other laugh and feel relaxed. She threw their trash away and when she came back Deidara was on one of the beds, staring at her with a hard but not unkind look.

He stood when she nervously stepped toward him. He stared down at her, her head barely coming to his chin.

"Sakura, show me your arms, hm."

Her eyes widened and she moved to go around him, but he held her wrist, earning a hiss. He exhaled sharply.

"Sakura…"

She sighed, and with hooded eyes she slowly took off her shield, revealing her cut up arms. His expression never changed, but when he looked from her arms and up to her face his eyes held concern and a different emotion Sakura couldn't decipher. He gently took her hand and set her onto the bed. Her eyes showed shame and regret. His hands rapidly performed signs to a jutsu and an indigo colored glow emitted from his hands.

She gasped as he placed his hands on her arms, his hand-palms licked her jagged wounds and she stared into his eyes, which were filled with concentration. He hushed her soothingly when she squirmed. She looked at her pale arms and gasped in shock, her cuts weren't there. It looked as though she had never done anything in the first place. He rubbed her arms in a comforting manner before standing up. He brushed her hair behind her ears, bending down he kissed her cheek.

"Don't do this anymore, Sakura, yeah. Come talk to me if you feel the need. We _can_ help you."

He whispered. She shook her head in apology, his blue eyes so sincere she couldn't find any argument. She nodded her head in response to what he said, eyes averted from Deidara's. She felt a blush rise up as his eyes stared at her. He trailed his hand over her face one more time as he walked over to the other bed. He told her to get some rest; they needed to leave early, before he turned off the light and crawled under his blanket. She stared at him for a second before she followed his lead; drowsily falling into the soft covers. He was only her partner, someone she had only met just a few days ago.

So why was her heart pounding so hard?

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Hey meep peeps. I KNOW you all want DeiSaku but I'm impatient as fuck and _trying_ to make the story last. So deal. This was fluffy :3 and YES! The hand healing jutsu Deidara did is something I randomly made up and have used in a couple other stories. It came in handy!**

**Someone commented and I have to reply since it is a major thing.**

**This is completely Deisaku, It is my main focus and this is what that story is about, focusing on her healing journey and their love blossoming. When I said there would be other pairings I meant that the only thing that would probably indicate that was minor details, a kiss here someone sitting in someone's lap there. Like you might see Konan sitting in Sasori's lap when they sit down in the living room or something.**


	6. Flying

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 7/4/12**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

* * *

The trip back to the base was calm, and since it was proven they could work decently together -and with getting along, a major plus- their partnership was validated by Pein. Sakura had spent the past few hours in her room, mulling over thoughts about her past and a certain blonde man. Whom she wasn't certain about. She rubbed her arms subconsciously, chewing on her lip. She jumped when someone knocked on her door.

"C-come in!"

Konan walked into her room.

"Hey."

She said, seeming shy. Sakura gave her a small smile, moving back so the woman had room on the bed.

"Something wrong?"

Sakura asked cautiously, still not used to nor good at dealing with talking to other people. Konan nodded before shaking her head, then she sighed and threw her hands up, making Sakura flinch unbeknownst to her.

"I don't know! I like him but I don't know why, or if he likes me."

Sakura mulled that over, thinking about the partner change, before risking another question.

"…Sasori?"

Konan blushed furiously. Sakura was kind of surprised she was right.

"Yesterday morning we were sitting in the living room talking and I got this _urge_ and my body took on a mind of its own and kissed him. He looked shocked and he was probably disgusted and Pein saw it all and made us partners. And now I don't know what do because he probably thinks I'm an idiot. And I'm acting like a total girl!"

Sakura refrained from saying that she _was_ a girl, and instead reached out her hand to rub Konan's back.

"I'm sure he'd have reacted differentlyif he did not like you… And you're a very nice and beautiful woman, there's nothing to not like."

Konan pursed her lips, blush still in place. She gasped when Sasori called her name, they were due to leave soon on mission.

"I need to go, he's really impatient and-and I'll talk to you more later."

She hugged sakura -scaring the girl- and ran from the room. Deidara strode past her open door before glancing in and walking towards her.

"Hey Sakura, you okay, un? You look kind of surprised."

She shook her head, brushing her hand through her hair.

"I just had an interesting conversation with Konan."

Deidara smirked, setting himself onto her bed, much to her discomfort and nervousness.

"She kissed danna yesterday morning, I don't think I've ever seen him show any emotion but yesterday I swear he blushed brighter than his hair, hm."

She smiled. So he did like her, good.

"Why do you seem so happy?"

His grin brightened.

"I have my own room! Since partners have to be close together he moved closer to Konan and since you're a woman you need privacy so I have the whole place to myself, yeah!"

She smiled at his boisterous personality. He seemed happy with the small things, it kind of brightened her own outlook.

"To blow stuff up without being told off."

She said. He winked at her, standing up.

"Which I'm off to do now, un. Want to come?

She bit her lip cautiously before nodding, taking his offered hand. She blushed when he didn't let her hand go until they reached the outskirts of the Akatsuki base. He pulled a small clay bird from his pack and tossed it into the air, where it grew several sizes. He jumped up and she jumped up next to him, settling herself by his side. There wasn't much room on these birds so they had to sit somewhat close.

She felt her heartbeat increase and cursed mentally. She shivered when the air started to turn colder as the sun began setting, biting her lip to suppress a gasp when Deidara wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She relaxed against him, resting her head on his shoulder. It was relaxing and… Romantic, if she could admit that, to be flying up here.

Deidara fideted, moving to glance at the teenage female. She met his eyes, questioning and nervous, and excited. He raised his hand, and whispered "Katsu" and the sky on the horizon went up in colors. Her face broke into a grin, watching the explosions with interest and appreciation. He smiled softly at her, blushing, thankful it was dark enough to cover it. She turned to gaze at him, emerald meeting sapphire and sparks flashing within them both.

Deidara leaned forward, and she shut her eyes and copied him, their lips met in a passionate first kiss that made both shiver at the fire that spread through their veins. He broke away, smirking at her flushed face and wide eyes. She had kissed before, but they'd only ever wanted in her pants, this kiss… It meant something.

And she wanted more of it.

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**It's short but I want to get ya'll by until my writers block is over.**

**Hidan: Blondie's gonna get some.**

**Amaya: you're gonna get my fist if you don't shut up.**

**Hidan: I'm fucking scared.**

**Deidara: Run, un! She has a gun!**

**Hidan: Fuck!**


	7. Finding

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 7/27/12**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

* * *

Sakura was lying on her stomach, twirling her hair around her finger. She and Deidara had returned home shortly before two in the morning, everyone else was in bed. She'd shyly pecked him on the lips before she disappeared into her room. She had butterflies in her stomach that wouldn't settle down.

"Sakura!"

She jumped when a woman whispered her name, rushing to unlock her door.

"Konan, come in, is something wrong?"

The older woman rushed inside, turning around with a smile on her face.

"No, no! but I know you just came home with Deidara!"

Sakura blushed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You like him a lot, don't you?"

"I just met him, it's only a crush."

Konan scoffed, waving her hand at the girl.

"You're a bad liar. He's thought you were the greatest thing to walk the earth since you got here."

She got close to the teenager's face.

"_And._ I see it in your eyes. You don't want to admit it because you're afraid, I understand, Sakura. But give him a chance. He's been hurt too."

She patted Sakura's hand before she took her leave. Sakura bit her lip, running her hands through her hair. This was like a young girl in distress over her elementary crush.

"Love shouldn't be this complicated."

_**You trust and love too easily.**_

Sakura shook her inner voice away, standing abruptly, leaving to take a walk. She silently slipped across the floor and out the door into the dark world, disappearing into the woods. She carefully maneuvered around plants and trees, agile despite her limited sight. She started when she heard something, biting her lip and reaching for her emergency kunai in case it was an intruder. She peered into the grove of trees, smiling softly when she saw a small rabbit, walking towards it slowly.

"You scared me, little one."

She let her guard down, a horrible mistake she'd regret.

"Hello, Sakura."

Someone strong slammed her face-first into the tree, wrenching her arms behind her back. She gasped, trying to scream, but he clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Miss me?"

Sasuke whispered cruelly into her ear. She bit his hand hard, he cursed when he brought it away, gripping her hair and shoving her face into the harsh tree bark. She felt her arms give under the pressure he put on them, and her face begin to bleed because of the bark.

"Fuck off and let me go you piece of shit!"

She snarled. He grunted, forcing his hand into her pants.

"Whore, disappearing to Akatsuki where all the men are, hm? Any of them fuck you? Did you let them fuck you against a wall, you ugly slut?"

She forced herself to ignore his sharp words, they didn't have an effect on her anymore. She'd built walls. He released her arms, confident she was too scared to do anything. Too weak.

_His_ mistake.

She whipped around, fist colliding with his face as she took off running as fast as she could down the darkened trail. She gasped when the trees around her caught fire, hearing the muttered jutsu. She couldn't fight fire. She flipped off a tree to avoid the oncoming fireball, flinging her kunai to barely graze the enraged Uchiha. She gasped when he disappeared from her vision, feeling something hard hit her in the head.

She didn't faint, but she went down. She panted, feeling tears prick her eyes. She snarled, pushing them back and glaring hatefully at her tormentor. She wasn't the helpless little girl anymore. She stood, following his movement she dodged his attacks, creating a graceful dance as she agilely dodged anything he threw at her.

His mistake, was that he always let his anger overtake him, and he deeply underestimated her. She caught an opening and swung her fist to punch him in his stomach. he coughed blood, but at the same time, he'd been hoping she'd take the bait. He took her arm and bent it sharply, snapping the bone. She screamed, falling to her back onto the ground. He straddled her hips.

"You'll get what you deserve, bitch."

"What, you'll rape me like the coward you are? Control freak? Get _off_ me you bastard!"

She shrieked, hair splayed around her. Her broken arm throbbed unbearably, her face stung, and her lungs burned. She couldn't take him anymore. She was smarter, but he was stronger. He tried to pull her pants off, she kicked out.

"_DEIDARA!"_

Her blood chilling scream resounded throughout the forest, hoping he could hear her. She didn't know why his name was the first that popped into her head. He smirked.

"One of your boyfriends? He isn't gonna help you, blossom. Sorry."

He growled, bending and kissing her so harshly her lips began to bleed. She felt faint, blood trickling from the earlier wound on her head.

"_**BOOM!"**_

She felt the wind of the explosion, gritting her teeth when Sasuke was violently torn from her, his nails scratching her stomach where he'd been holding her down as he tried to tear her pants off. Her blurred vision barely made out the blonde figure as he stood over her, words slurring as she drifted in and out of consciousness, he kissed her lips so softly she barely felt it.

"Hold on Sakura, yeah."

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**So I was just writing, trying to get shit finished and keep my mind busy since a lot of very bad and depressing shit has been happening, and BOOM the ending came to me and now the whole story is planned. 3 maybe 4 more chapters. Thanks guys!**


	8. Learning

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 8/20/12**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

* * *

_Did you see where he went?_

_No, I was a little more worried about her, un!_

_Don't take that tone with me, I care about her too! He might come back, did he see where we're hidden?_

_No, un. She was pretty far out, doing god knows what. Fucking Uchiha did a number on her, but she fucked him up too, yeah._

_Watch over her._

Sakura groaned, thinking she was dreaming. She cracked her emerald eyes open to blink at the bright lights, jumping slightly when Deidara appeared by her side, his bright eyes intense with worry and relief.

"Sakura, are you okay?! Do you want some water, hm?"

She nodded slowly, sitting up so she could drink. She looked at Konan when the woman began messing with an I.V. needle in her arm, taking it out. Sakura sighed deeply, rubbing her head.

"How long was I out?"

She asked, glaring at a cut on her arm, which she instinctively began to heal. Deidara watched her like a hawk, irritation becoming evident in her eyes when she asked this.*

"Only a few hours, it's nearing dawn, un."

She raised a brow, standing up and stretching with a sigh of relief. Deidara eyed her.

"Are you not in any pain, un?"

She chewed her lower lip, shaking her head.

"I heal even when I'm unconscious, I'm fine, don't worry."

She told him, he narrowed his eyes, taking her arm and leading her back to her room, locking the door behind him.

"Why were you in the forest alone?"

His voice was sober, not his usual sunny disposition. She looked down, sighing deeply.

"I needed some fresh air. I never thought he would have come after me-"

"He could have killed you!"

Her green eyes, ablaze with the passion she'd held when she was younger, zeroed in on him.

"Well I'm alive, and unharmed."

He threw his hands up.

"He beat you half to death, un! If I hadn't been outside he would have-"

He cut off, both knew what Sasuke had wanted to do, but neither was willing to admit it. He enveloped her in a hug, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"Just… Please be careful, Sakura."

He whispered as he kissed the top of her head and left her room. She blushed slightly, sitting down and running her hand through her hair.

"That was too close…"

She muttered. Sasuke had hunted her down, and even though they were miles from the base, who knows if he would become desperate and hunt down her new home?

"Why can't he fuck up someone else's life?"

She whispered, voice tinged with anger and sorrow. He always told her she was annoying and ugly, but since she turned sixteen he had taken a new interest, trying to get in her pants. He even once spread that he had, that turned into the "Whore Rumor" for months. She felt her chest tighten. All he wanted was her _virginity. _So he could tear her apart, so he could break her.

But what if she gave her virginity to someone else? Someone she cared for?

* * *

**(Deidara's POV)**

I angrily paced in my room, barely refraining from blowing it all to hell. How **dare** that insolent, arrogant, utterly insane Uchiha ever touch her! He had the audacity to come after her, much less try to _rape_ her, _knowing_ one of us would come for her. I should have killed him then and there, that prick; and I still plan to.

"Deidara?"

I whipped around, unintentionally glaring at Konan. She didn't react, the woman was probably used to it.

"She's alright, you need to-"

"She WOULDN'T have been! He hurt her! It isn't just the fucking physical attack, she is _scarred_, and he keeps opening up what we heal, hm."

"I know how much you care about her-"

"She's my teammate, of course I care-"

"Iwa Deidara! You came to me not two days ago complaining about how she made you feel "weird", and I told you what was wrong! You even took her for a date!"

_I kissed her too…_

"You don't love someone like _you_ said, after two weeks of knowing them. Un."

"Ever heard of love at first sight?"

I huffed at her, putting my hands on my hips.

"Get out of my room, un!"

She giggled, smiling at me teasingly.

"Hiding how you feel will hurt you and her worse than she already is. Go with the flow, if it's meant to be, let it be."

She left with that, leaving me blushing and irritated. I thought she was pretty, and nice, and strong, sure. But she's…

_Amazing…_

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**So next chapter takes off to the finale. Again, maybe 3 or so chapters left.**

***- He isn't angry with her he's angry at Sasuke.**


	9. Giving

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 8/23/12**

**TITLE: Through Your Eyes**

* * *

Sakura stared into her mirror in anger.

"I'm not good enough for him. I don't have a big bust or hips like the other girls."

She told herself, standing before the looking glass, where she'd been for nearly an hour. She _knew_ she cared for Deidara more than she ever cared about anyone, but was it love?

_**Be careful, you can't think this just because he was nice!**_

"Bite me."

She told her inner voice, wanting to be alone with her thoughts. She liked him a lot, but she wasn't brave enough to take the chance. She didn't have the self-confidence.

She sighed, pulling her underwear and nightgown back on, deciding to go see the blonde anyway. She felt a pang of longing at the thought of him.

_**Two weeks, damn it!**_

She growled internally, exiting her room and softly padding down the dark hallway, knocking on the blonde's door. He opened it, biting his lip when he saw the half-dressed teenager.

"Hi, Sakura."

He moved to the side, letting her into his room. She was still blushing slightly, he'd opened the door with no shirt. She had seen shirtless men before, hell, it didn't faze her, but when she saw Deidara half-naked, her body and mind reacted differently. She sat on his bed, crossing her legs, causing him to move and sit behind her so he wouldn't stare.

"Thank you…"

"For?"

She exhaled in disbelief.

"For saving my _life!"_

"It wasn't anything…"

He tried to brush it off. She turned around.

"No, it was a big something."

She leaned close, pressing her lips to his almost shyly. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, his tongue pressing against her lower lip. Unsurely, she parted her lips, giving him access. She blushed when his tongue rubbed against hers, moaning almost inaudibly as he ran it over her teeth.

He smirked, breaking away so they both could breathe, emerald met sapphire in a passionate glance. She pulled him against her and crashed their lips together again, addicted to the feeling she got from him and his actions. His hand rested on her thigh, the mouth on his palm stuck it's tongue out to tease the soft flesh.

Sakura shivered, breaking the kiss in a gasp. He kissed her cheek, going lower as he left butterfly kissed along her neck. She tilted her head to give him room, clutching his bicep when he found her soft spot, the juncture where her neck and shoulder met. She moaned softly, as though she were embarrassed. He smirked against her bare skin.

"Like that Sakura?"

He asked her teasingly, brushing her hair from her eyes and pushing his hand travel father up her leg, she bit her lip, tensing when he brought it to the nightgown she wore, tugging it up some.

"D-Deidara wait…"

He stopped, almost to her shock. She half expected sex to be his main goal and not to listen if she wanted stop.

"What's wrong, yeah?"

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, gaze nervously flitting around.

"I… I really like you and I'm afraid if we do this you might not like me anymore, because-"

He pressed a finger to her lips.

"Sakura, calm down. You're overthinking it. I don't like you…"

Both of their hearts skipped a beat, though for different reasons.

"I love you. I don't want you to feel pressured into this because it's a really big thing, un."

_**Yeah because losing your V-card to a man you just met isn't a big deal.**_

_Shut up! _

Sakura's mouth fell open slightly, a blush adorning her pretty face as she heard his confession. He bit his lip nervously, impatiently waiting for her reaction.

"Deidara… I've never cared about someone as much as I care about you…"

_So it must be love._

"I love you too…"

She whispered. He smiled brightly, it was contagious, because a second later she was smiling too. He bent closer, kissing her gently, then with more passion, pressing her onto the bed. She gasped, giving him entry to ravage her mouth again.

She didn't stop him when his hand went up her gown and she shivered as his hand rested on her stomach, thumb rubbing over her heated flesh. She fought with him for dominance in the kiss, their positions shifted so he was between her legs.

He tugged the annoying clothing up, breaking the kiss momentarily to pull it over her head and throw it on the floor. She blushed so brightly she thought she'd faint, crossing her arms over her chest instinctively.

He frowned.

"Sakura, don't be shy, un. You're beautiful, I wish you'd realize that."

She felt her breath catch in surprise.

_No one… No one has ever said that before._

She thought, focusing on his words. He took her hands and pulled them back, spreading them to the side while leaning over her and staring into her bright eyes. He kissed her lips softly, then her cheek, she blushed as he left butterfly kissed along her neck and shoulder to her chest. He smirked, kissing her breast teasingly.

She gasped, pushing up against him when his tongue slid across her nipple, his hand-mouth teased the other one. The rosebuds hardened from the treatment, she moaned, trying to control the sounds she let out. She shivered when he blew cool air onto her nipple, distracting her from his other hand as it slid down her stomach and to her panties. He snuck his hand into them, rubbing his fingers up and down her folds slowly. She inhaled sharply, clutching the sheets. He moved so he could slide them down her long legs, smirking at her blush, she glared half-heartedly at him biting her lip when he brought his hand back.

She cried out in shock when the tongue ran up her folds, pressing against her clit. Her breathing turned fast as it repeated the action, pressing against her entrance this time. Her legs spread farther apart subconsciously, growing braver she moaned in pleasure, encouraging him.

When the warm muscle pressed inside her wet entrance, she tensed in shock and pleasure, bucking her hips. It pumped in and out of her tight hole making her feel a pressure spreading across her abdomen and a tingling feeling starting in her lower regions, slowly migrating throughout her body. She arched her back with a small cry as she came, panting for air in the aftermath.

"Enjoying yourself, cherry blossom?"

Deidara teased, pecking her on the lips. He unzipped his pants, standing to let them fall to the ground. She swallowed, feeling her face get unbearably hot. She really had the shy virgin thing down.

He smirked at her as he sat between her legs, gripping her thighs and bringing her closer, earning a small sound of surprise. She bit her lip anxiously, flicking her nervous gaze to Deidara. He smiled reassuringly, kissing her hard as he eased himself into her. She cried out in pain as her virginity was torn from her, tears dripping down her cheeks.

He hushed her soothingly, kissing her neck tenderly to calm her as he sheathed himself within her, repressing a groan of pleasure as he was encase by her tightness. She whimpered quietly.

_I'm not innocent anymore._

For some odd reason, this feeling felt oddly, freeing. She took a deep breath, trying to force the stinging feeling to subside. Eventually it became more of an annoyance than a true pain.

"Move."

She said breathlessly. He smirked, pulling out of her and pushing back in, with a slower pace than he'd have preferred, but he cared more about her comfort. She cringed, trying to relax so she wasn't tightening down on him. She inhaled deeply, biting her lip as his thick manhood thrust into her.

"F-faster!"

She moaned, putting her arms around his neck as he started thrusting into her, kissing him messily. She groaned into their kiss, bucking her hips up to meet his thrusts. He brought his mouth down to her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth.

"Oh god!"

She cried out in pleasure, throwing her head back. She felt the tingling feeling again, whimpering quietly. He moaned when she tightened around his cock, her nails raked down his back as her orgasm struck her, she cried out her lover's name, panting hard as she rode out her high, feeling him move within her for a minute or so more before he came. She yelped when her insides were splashed with the hot liquid.

He pulled out of her slowly, slightly out of breath himself. She laid still, an orgasmic and drained mess, trying to catch her breath. He kissed her slowly, settling down next to the pinkette. She felt strangely at peace knowing she'd given the man she loved her greatest treasure.


	10. Avenging

Sakura awoke to a strong arm wrapped around her waist. She shivered when hot breath fanned across her neck, turning to face her lover. He slowly opened his sapphire eyes, smiling at the beautiful girl in his bed. Woman, he should say.

"Morning gorgeous."

He whispered, pecking her lips, earning a blush from the teenager as she wasn't used to his kindness or intimacy. She sat up slowly, wincing as the area between her legs throbbed with the aftermath of sex. She took a deep breath, deciding to let it heal on its own, she stood.

"Catch."

She held her arms out as Deidara tossed something at her, looking down to realize it was clothes. She thanked him as she dressed, making a point of ignoring his wandering eyes.

"It's rude to stare!"

She playfully chastised the blonde. He chuckled.

"Can't blame a man's actions, yeah. His dick takes half his brain."

She blushed, teasingly slapping his arm. He bent again to capture her lips, straightening to fix his mussed hair. Someone knocked on the door to the room, Sakura turned to give a small smile at Sasori, who raised a brow at her.

"Meeting in five, be ready."

He told, more like ordered, the two. Deidara nodded, waving him away.

"Got it danna, don't worry we won't keep everyone waiting, hm."

He teased. Sasori narrowed his eyes before exiting the room, leaving with an air of annoyance for the younger members of Akatsuki. Sakura sighed as she brushed her untamed hair, doing a small jump to try to get the ache between her legs to dissipate faster. Deidara snickered at her; earning an emerald glare.

He took her hand and led her out of the bedroom that still contained memories of sin and into the dark and chilled meeting room. She slid into her seat silently, masking her earlier emotion to match the calm aura radiating the ominous room. Deidara sat to her right, and Hidan sat to her left.

"It has come to my attention that the only Bijuu we need to complete our goal lies in Konohagakure, Uzumaki Naruto, the nine-tailed fox."

Pein spoke with an air of regality at the front of the stone made table. Sakura swallowed hard at the mention of her blonde ex-teammate, of the times he'd fondly called her "chan" and dragged her around to Ichiraku's.

Of the time he'd tricked her into going to a party at a recently opened nightclub, and she had been pelted with raw eggs and rotten fruit. She hadn't had the strength to cry after she'd forced all her energy into deceiving nearly seven of the Konoha twelve into thinking she'd simply disappeared somewhere, and left to go back to their party. She numbly watched as Naruto high-fived Ino and shared a smug look with Sasuke, her two worst enemies, and she realized he too had been her enemy all along.

"Sakura."

She blinked when Pein called her, looking straight up to him.

"Yes Leader-sama?"

She said calmly, her eyes had iced in repressed hatred for the people that had ruined her life.

"You and Itachi both are born from the leaf village, I expect you to come forward later with any vital information you might have."

Sakura nodded while Itachi remained stoic.

Could she, really give them the knowledge that could mean the destruction of her village? The death of her teammates?

Her eyes hardened.

Yes, she could.

* * *

It was a spurious day, really. Today was a blissfully calm and peaceful time in Konoha, with mild weather. No one that didn't harbor the ability to read the future could know what lurked in the shadows.

"They're spineless, one look should get us by. Backup will come but it shouldn't be too much for you to handle."

Sakura rapidly gave directions to assist Kisame while Itachi stood a ways off, scanning the front gates where Izumo and Kotetsu stood with their undeserved sense of entitlement. When it came down to the real criminals, neither would meet the challenge. A sinister grin twisted Sakura's features. How often had the girl daydreamed about standing up to the ones who had brought her misery? How often had she prayed for punishment for the ones who hurt her?

"Signal in three…two…"

"_BOOM!"_

Sakura chuckled as the explosion sent at least a dozen Jounin racing towards it, on the opposite side of the village.

"One."

* * *

To say hell broke loose might have been an understatement, because the second she entered the land of this godforsaken village, Sakura lost her sense of right and wrong as it mingled with her inner-self's sense of hatred and destruction. Her fist connected with multiple Ninja's faces, must be Chūnin, because a Jounin would cause much more mayhem.

She both dreaded and welcomed the confrontation of someone she knew.

"You said there would be danger here."

Hidan muttered from his place near her, standing back to back to watch for an ambush.

"There is, I'm not sure what their pl-"

The crackle of lightning pierced the once slick air, making Sakura's hair stand on end. She whirled, propelling herself backward to avoid the rage of the Chidori that her old Sensei wielded expertly, giving vague thanks the same attack had missed Hidan as well; despite knowing it wouldn't have truly harmed him. His eyes narrowed harshly at her for a moment, Hidan chose to leave, for once catching the subtle hint that they needed to be left alone. Questions to be answered and battles to finish still lingered.

"Why?"

Kakashi's question sounded more of a demand. She glowered at him in a manner that suggested he should watch himself. How dare he ask her such things.

"Why did you make my life a living hell?"

His eyes widened.

"Sakura I never did anything to hurt-"

"Why don't you stop your lies before I take out your heart."

She growled, allowing her composure to slip; it felt too good to release her pent up hatred and fury.

"You never gave me the time of day, Sasuke and Naruto were always in your eyes, I never mattered because I was the little clingy girl who was never going to amount to anything!"

He looked her over, her hooded Akatsuki cloak swaying slightly in the wind.

"And you never did."

He whispered. She chuckled at him as though he were a child that couldn't understand anything.

"I'm far above you now, Kakashi."

She told him, tensing when his chakra flared.

_**One hit and I'm done for.**_

She smirked, allowing him to make the first move. If there was anything she'd been grateful for from her battle with Sasori, it was that she learned to move rapidly and gracefully. She sidestepped the older man's violent attack, only letting herself take the slightest offense that he wasn't giving his all. Something pecked at her mind; was it because he didn't genuinely want to harm her, or was it because he saw her unworthy of his energy?

The last thought was what sent her kunai ripping into his left shoulder; even if it was only proof that she was strong enough to take him.

"Give me all you've got, _Sensei._ I'm not that useless brat anymore!"

She snarled when he chuckled, turning to look at her heavily.

"No, you're not."

He let her. She knew he let her land that hit. She always would know that when she landed the fatal blow, it was because he let her. She gave him the grace of listening to his final words; if it was only because she was respectful, but she knew better.

"I'm sorry…"

He rasped. She nodded, watching the light leave his visible eye.

"I know."

She closed his eyes, standing with a nod to the sky. She felt the painful weight of the guilt that followed vengeance like a ghost.

"Pull back, Pink!"

She immediately recognized Hidan's voice and his nickname for her; following suit behind him into the woods. She wondered why they suddenly chose to pull back.

She remained silent as Pein stood before the Hokage, the woman looked feral.

"You have something we desire."

He told the enraged woman that stood before her damaged village.

"Over my dead body!"

"This could go peacefully, it is your decision."

"You declared a war on us, you bastards!"

Tsunade screamed in her uncontrollable rage, glaring in undeniable loathing at the members of Akatsuki surrounding the outskirts of her village.

"No, they didn't."

A voice called from the dark. Haruno Sakura stepped from the shadowed forest, her eyes of a blazing jade and her essence of strength and confidence, not of what they had broken.

"_I_ waged war."

* * *

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Ooh~ Vengeance is a dangerous game.**

**Alright folks let's wrap it up- Leave reviews, please. So many people seem to enjoy this story and I don't understand why, it certainly isn't anything amazing. It still isn't. I can't please myself…**


	11. Justifying

Tsunade's honey colored eyes widened slightly, shock overcoming her features before fury painted over it. "How dare you! I've taught you everything you know, you ungrateful brat! And you run off to the Akatsuki because a couple of people don't like you?" She bellowed, fists clenching. Sakura remained impassive, though her green eyes clearly conveyed her hatred. She didn't like the feeling; it was engulfing and caused a void inside of her.

"You stood by, while everyone else belittled me. A Hokage has many responsibilities, including caring about her villagers and promising their safety." Sakura sounded as though she were reprimanding the woman. Tsunade's eyes widened slightly, and Naruto lunged forward with an angered look in his blue eyes. "Sakura-chan-"

He was cut off by the girl. "Never, call me that. You don't deserve the affection it implies." She growled, inhaling slowly to calm her temper when Deidara inched closer to her. "You're old enough to protect yourself! Not everyone has had the best life but you don't see me running off to the Akatsuki, who tried to murder both me and Garra!" Naruto cried in disbelief and anger.

Sakura chuckled darkly. "I didn't run. I was taken. But I willingly accepted to remain a member. You speak like you're something special, you're not. If you knew pain, then you wouldn't dare to inflict on another in the way you've done to me." Her voice was sharp and her eyes were cold. "So you're going to try to kill me?" He cried. She paused, her mind taking her back to their younger years. She was weak, she was useless, and they all preyed from it. They got their strength from her weakness.

She snapped out of her daze with a growl of unconcealed anger, turning to look up at him. She wouldn't be the one taking him down; she wasn't one to take on a tailed beast. She would be fending off the other ninja.

"No, but I'll watch you die." She hissed menacingly. With a flick of her hand she sent a kunai at his direction, igniting the war that had raged in her heart. She broke away from the battle to allow Itachi to fight against Naruto, her emerald eyes settled on Yamanaka Ino. The blonde girl looked excited, she'd always wanted to have a serious fight with the pinkette; it was time to put the blonde pig in her place, Sakura decided. "Come on forehead, what're you waiting on?" She taunted, Sakura's eyes flashed over Ino's shoulder before she could retort, horror overcoming her features.

Ino fell for the very old trick; hell, last time Sakura used that one she'd fallen off her dinosaur. "Dumb bitch." She muttered as she shot a round of senbon straight for Ino's throat; the blonde girl dodged in time, but she turned at the wrong moment and a senbon grazed her cheek. She laughed cruelly. "Is that all you've got? We're better off without you anyway!" She cackled, standing up and throwing a right uppercut at Sakura.

The kunoichi dodged the attack, as she did the next hit. Ino panted for air as she attempted to land a strike on the other girl, cursing when she slid to her knees. "Wh-what did you…" She couldn't breathe, it felt like her throat was closing up; her blue eyes looked in alarm at Sakura, who gave her a sinister smirk. "Poison needles; never saw it coming, did you?" She whispered as the girl fell forward. She glared hard at the lifeless body, wishing she felt satisfaction for the death of her tormentor, some peace, but she didn't. She felt even angrier.

She whirled to look behind her when someone cried out her name, it was Lee. Kisame had him backed against a tree, trapped. He looked exhausted. She felt the overwhelming feeling of the desire to stop him; Lee had always been kind towards her. "Kisame, no!" She cried, reaching out to stop him before he killed the teenage boy. He shot her an annoyed look, swinging his sword back over his shoulder. She looked down at Lee, shaking her head slowly. "I…I'm not a murderer…" She whispered softly, turning to look around her at the destruction she caused.

She was not a murderer. She didn't kill the innocent. These people were guilty of being cruel, but that did not deserve a death sentence. Someone lunged at her from behind; she wasn't fast enough to move in time. She relaxed her body to lessen the effectiveness of the strike, instantly realizing she made a nearly fatal mistake. Tsunade's fist crashed into her back, though she was holding back immensely it still sent the teenager flying across the ground. She leaned up on her knees, wiping some blood off her leg. She glared up at her infuriated former teacher and leader. "Haruno Sakura. You were once a cherished ninja of our village. Why did you take such a path?" She asked, voice thick in anger and sorrow.

"I had to take my life into my own hands. I couldn't let _them_ walk over me anymore. I took my path to salvation, that is not wrong, Tsunade-sama." The girl replied in a coldly respectful tone. The Sannin shook her head slowly. "You've got no idea what you are starting!" She yelled. Sakura chuckled, standing and rapidly performing hand signs. "I know exactly what we're doing." She murmured, three clones coming up at Tsunade in quick succession. The Hokage easily swiped her leg to take them down, but failed to notice a fourth one that had been concealed as a kunai Sakura had thrown. The clone appeared directly behind her and punched Tsunade across the head hard enough to send her into the nearby shop, as blood trickled down her forehead.

Sakura took a step towards Tsunade, but shook her head and retreated. She'd killed enough. She'd taken enough away from the village. This was her birthplace, she could not blame all the people here for the mistakes a few did.

"Sakura!" She turned to look at Deidara as he called her name; he was above her on one of his birds. She turned to the side, noting Naruto was gone; had Pein managed to capture him already? With a final look at Tsunade she noted her chest was still moving, of course she was alive. Sakura hadn't intended a fatal hit. She couldn't kill the Hokage anyway, the woman was far too stubborn. She jumped up with him, overlooking the village with disquiet in her eyes.

Vengeance should feel good. Not this guilt. Not this shame inside of her. "Sakura?" She looked at her boyfriend; it felt nice to call him that. "Are you all right, un?" She blinked at him, shaking her head slowly. "This was wrong… I killed innocent people-"

He placed a hand on hers. "No, you got justice." He said firmly. "Justice for those who had hurt you." She gave a short, sharp laugh that dripped with malice. "They didn't kill me…" She whispered. But they might as well have. He tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "They didn't care if you lived or died, that's the same thing as killing you in the ninja world, Sakura, un."

She gazed sorrowfully into his bright, defiant eyes. Those blue eyes she had fallen in love with. "Deidara… I was never meant to be a ninja. I belong in the hospital helping people, not killing like I've done today. Kakashi… even Ino! They're not bad people. But I've become one today." She murmured. Deidara drew her into his lap, much like that day months ago.

"You can't dwell on what you've done. They took from you, you took back. You needed this, you needed to prove how strong you were, how you'd broken free from their hold." He told her, voice determined. She shook her head, leaning against him. "Ino should have gone to jail for assisting in a sexual assault. She deserved what she got." He hissed in anger for the blonde girl. Sakura pursed her lips.

"Does this get any easier?" She whispered. He sighed. "You don't want it to…" He told her softly.

He was right. She didn't want murdering innocent people to become easy. "Stick with what you said, hm. Heal who is hurt, that's the greatest you can do." He promised, kissing her forehead. "This was the first of many battles, Sakura. I can't guarantee your safety, from being killed or the one killing. But understand, some acts of justice may look cruel, but it's what many people deserve and need." He whispered. She swallowed; he was speaking for both of them. "One heinous act doesn't deserve another." She murmured. "But if it's to free one's soul, then I believe it is right." He nodded in agreement, and Sakura stared deep into his blue eyes, feeling the overwhelming urge to tell him something.

"I love you." She suddenly said, knowing now more than ever how much she meant it. He smiled gently at her, leaning down to press his lips against hers. "I love you more, Sakura." He said. She searched his expression for a sign that he was lying, that maybe he didn't truly love her, but there was none.

He truly did love her.

She thought that this, might be, what peace felt like.

* * *

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Fuck…it…it's done… I can't even believe it, it's so surreal! Thank you all so very much for reviewing, favoriting, following, and just being with me on this journey. I'm so jittery with excitement! This is my first multichapter story I began, and the first I finished. Dear god. Just, love! I love you all!**

**And before you hate like the little fucks you can be, I was someone who although enjoyed it if it was written well, grew weary of Sakura always relishing in her vengeance and killing everyone willy-nilly (I live with my grandparents I use old person words all right?) and laughing like a maniac or with no feelings. Sakura isn't like that, even if you hurt her it is her job to care for you. Sure she has a temper worse than an active volcano, but she isn't some blood hungry cold hearted person. **


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